The World's Greatest Criminal Mind (Storybook Version)

The World's Greatest Criminal Mind is a song written by Henry Mancini.

Origin
This slightly different version of the song was meant to be used in place of the movie version of “The World's Greatest Criminal Mind ”. It included more details about the Tower Bridge Job, and also a more introspective look into Ratigan's character, who mentions in one of the deleted verses that his most cruel crimes are caused by what he acknowledges as "dark and devilish urges". The song was most likely cut because of the very dark details given to the Tower Bridge Job, which now appears to have been a mass murder. However, a version was performed by actor Corey Burton for the storybook-read-along CD released along with the film. It is notable that this version is neither cut by Ratigan's forlorn monologue about Basil, or by Bartholomew's word-slip and subsequent demise; these two elements would likely still have been present in the movie, but were cut in the CD's version.

Lyrics
RATIGAN: From the brain that brought you the Big Ben Caper,

The Head that made headlines in every newspaper

And wondrous things like the Tower Bridge Job,

That cunning display that made Londoners sob,

Now comes the real tour de force!

Tricky and wicked of course!

My earlier crimes were fine for their times,

But now that I'm back again,

An even grimmer plot has been simmering

In my great criminal brain!

THUGS: Even meaner? You mean it?

Worse than the widows and orphans you drowned?

You're the best of the worst around!

Oh Ratigan! Oh Ratigan! The rest fall behind…

To Ratigan, to Ratigan, the World's Greatest Criminal Mind!

RATIGAN (spoken) : Thank you!

(sung): When these dark and devilish urges guide me,

This cruel and unusual gift that's inside me

By scampering and tampering with,

And hampering times and becoming a myth…

Picking them off one by one,

Picking them off -- just for fun!

Such privilege,

My view from the Bridge,

As all of them bogged and sank!…

But now, this matchless plot has been hatching

Some much more unnatural prank!

THUGS: Even louder, we'll shout it:

No one can doubt what we know you can do,

You're more evil than even you!

Oh Ratigan! Oh Ratigan! You're one of a kind! To Ratigan, to Ratigan, the World's Greatest Criminal Mind!

RATIGAN: Hahahahahahahahaha!